


lighting up

by rueflower



Series: college vibes [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Developing Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, M/M, Religion, Tony Stark Needs Sleep, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, love to see it, this isn't as dark as the tags make it sound i promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2020-01-31 13:32:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18592243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rueflower/pseuds/rueflower
Summary: It was 4/20.The last Rhodey had seen of Tony, he was wearing nothing but an oversized football jersey, wrapped around some blonde and completely oblivious to the chaos of the surrounding frat party. That was four hours ago, and he was starting to get worried.





	lighting up

It was 4/20. 

The last Rhodey had seen of Tony, he was wearing nothing but an oversized football jersey, wrapped around some blonde and completely oblivious to the chaos of the surrounding frat party. That was four hours ago, and he was starting to get worried.

Despite what the tabloids printed, Tony wasn’t that much of a partier. When they had first met, Rhodey was more concerned that the sleep exhaustion from academic anxiety would kill Tony, long before any sort of alcohol problem or drug abuse. He lost track of the number of times he’d fish Tony out of a library or lab, moments before a full on meltdown.

By no means was Rhodey a slacker, either. He put hours into his classes, got good grades, kept his nose clean. The problem was, Tony could never fail. He was never allowed to be less than perfect. It wasn’t healthy, though he had every right to be proud with his stellar academic record.

However, Tony had changed a lot since then. Most notably his parents had died, and he wasn’t handling it well.

So the tabloids weren’t exactly wrong anymore when they posted photos of Tony, sloshed and high, at some college party. For the most part, Rhodey was okay with his experimenting. Curiosity was a normal human trait, and he was still grieving for christ’s sake. 

That being said, Tony was still dangerously underage, a target for a lot of creeps, and not the best at judgement calls. Plus, he wasn't very good at handling his grief.

Rhodey, admittedly, didn't notice until the girl he was seeing, Carol, pointed out the distinct lack of a certain hyperactive 17 year old. Even then, he had brushed the concern off until the substance induced buzz ebbed away, leaving a pit of guilt in his chest.

As he became more aware of his surroundings, cold adreneline flooded his body. More than a few partygoers were clearly out of their wits thanks to something a little more potent than weed. Rhodey blinked once. Twice. Turned to make eye contact with Carol, and then stood abruptly.

"Hey, listen, this has been awesome but I have to find Tony and make sure he's okay." Rhodey wiped his hands against his pants. The "make sure he's alive" was left unspoken.

"I'm coming with you." Carol didn't hesitate. Already in the motion of grabbing her sweater, Rhodey didn't bother to argue. He appreciated anyone who truly cared about his friend, and he needed the help.

The two turned and scanned the living room, before moving on to the kitchen. As an afterthought, he sent a short text to Natasha and one to Steve, just in case either had seen Tony in the interim.

 

 

Steve was sat in church, waiting for the start of the Easter Vigil service, when he realized he forgot to turn off his cell phone ringer. Blushing furiously, he fumbled to flip the switch as his pocket quacked incessantly. People were staring, and the little toddler three pews behind him thought the noise was the funniest thing. At least mass hadn't started yet.

Finally flipping the switch, Steve glanced at the notification on the lock screen. It was Rhodes, probably wanting to schedule their workouts during exam week. He tapped in his passcode, ready to send a quick "talk later, at church" to his friend.

"At a party, haven't seen Tony in a while. Kind of concerned. Looking for him now, lmk if you see him."

Although Tony disappearing for extended periods of time wasn’t unusual, Steve couldn’t help but feel a little off-kilter as he read the message for a second, and then third time. The last few months had been really difficult for the teen. Steve could remember, with crystal clarity, Tony’s entire body shaking from heaving sobs after hearing about the accident. 

Tony was never one to so blatantly express what he felt.

Most importantly, Steve had grown… somewhat protective of Tony’s wellbeing in the passing months. He was becoming more aware of how little his friend slept, instead studying for hours on end or working problem sets. When Tony was on a projet binge, Steve would bring him food and keep him company until the early morning, and then do his best to coax him home. Sometimes, he’d even recommend movies or documentaries for Tony to watch, as a method to destress. They wouldn’t make it past the opening scene before Tony would pass out on the couch, warm and snoring softly.

So maybe “somewhat” was a little of an under exaggeration. 

Steve tossed his phone between his hands, nervous. He felt bad for dipping out on church, but he’d rather see Tony safe at home. Steve knew that Tony wouldn’t be in a good place mentally. He hadn’t been for months. Surely the Lord would understand that…

“Thanks for letting me know. I’m on my way over.”

Throwing his jacket over his shoulders, Steve picked up the prayer leaflet and his waxy unlit candle meant for the vigil. He gently excused himself from the pew, genuflected, and turned towards the back. As he was passing by the rear section of pews, he stopped just short of the exit.

Tucked in the back corner of the church, Steve could just see the top of a familiar navy baseball cap. In fact, he was pretty sure the hat was the same one he left at Tony’s apartment a few weeks ago -- the same one Tony claimed had “gone missing.”

Avoiding a near collision with an elderly couple, Steve hastily redirected towards the back of the church. With every step, he was more sure yet equally shocked of what he was seeing. 

Of all the places Steve expected to find Tony, church wasn’t anywhere on the list.

Approaching carefully, Steve checked his friend over for injuries. He was wearing a loose-fitting pair of khaki pants and a striped blue polo. His shoulders were hunched inwards, and he was intently reading through the leaflet. There were dark circles under Tony’s eyes, and his hair was barely kept in control by the navy hat. His leg was jumping up and down, and his hands were trembling.

Steve knocked on the side of the pew. Tony jerked up from his reading.

“Mind if I sit?” Tony froze, his eyes wide. Steve backpedaled.

“If that’s okay with you. I figured you might want the company, and the rest of the church is pretty full..” Steve could feel himself floundering. He anxiously scratched the back of his head, and shoved his other hand in his pocket.

Tony swallowed, then nodded and shifted away from the aisle. “You can sit, Steve.” Steve exhaled, grateful, and sat down with Tony.

“You should, uh, take the hat off.” Tony fingered the brim of the hat.

“I was trying to be low profile.”

“People don’t frequently wear hats in church. It’s kind of a giveaway.” Tony nodded, took off the hat, and ran his fingers through his hair in an attempt to keep it neat.

They didn’t talk after that. Mass started. Every once in a while, Steve would knock his knee into Tony’s, a small reassurance. Sometimes, Tony would even smile a little.

Continuing with the theme of the unexpected, Steve hadn’t realized Tony could sing. Not only that, but he knew every song, including the verses in Latin. Steve was horribly confused. Tony never once talked about being religious. He, in fact, frequently admonished the people who blurred the lines between religion and politics and personal rights. Yet here they were, at a three hour vigil service, and Tony was singing better than half the church choir.

For part of the service, the congregation members lit their candles and held them, filling the hall with light. As they were lighting up their candles, Steve couldn’t take his eyes off of Tony. The flickering light made his whole profile glow, and the bags under his eyes were less prominent. He looked at peace for the first time in months.

Belatedly, Steve also realized that Tony’s cheeks were shining from a few silent tears. Holding his candle in one hand, Steve pulled Tony into his side, rubbing small circles into his shoulder with the pad of his thumb. Tony had tensed at first, but quickly relaxed. He hastily wiped the tears off his face with his forearm, and sniffled quietly.

Mass ended. Together, Steve and Tony walked back to Tony’s apartment.

A few blocks away, Tony bumped gently into Steve. 

“I’m not, uh, really religious. I mean I know you sorta are, and my mom was, and I know you were surprised to see me there…” Tony paused, and Steve waited. “I just… Easter was Maria’s favorite holiday. I thought that, out of all people, she would deserve my prayers the most. If they mean anything, that is.”

“I hope they do. I know they will.” Steve replied. As they came to a stop in front of Tony’s apartment complex, Steve turned to face his friend. He opened his arms, and Tony gave him a hug. He felt warm.

“Happy Easter.” Tony hummed softly in agreement.

**Author's Note:**

> come yell at me: rueflower.tumblr.com
> 
> I headcanon Tony as a fan of the Clockmaker Theory in terms of religion. If you haven't heard of it before, it's essentially where God created a universe, and then just let it run it's course. No tinkering to shape history otherwise.
> 
> That being said, he's the type to look for some divine intervention in the wake of tragedy. My poor baby. He misses his mom.
> 
> tl;dr i also cried in church because i miss my mom. candlelight services really do me dirty like that


End file.
